Hank Jarvis, 24, spent much of Saturday morning complaining to his Bloodborne roommate. His final complaint centered on the fact that he couldn’t see the characters behind various doors and windows, and instead had to interact with disembodied voices. “[From Software] are so lazy! he shouted before pausing the game to watch a video on how to kill the Maneater boar after meeting the beast and being immediately trampled to death.
“It’s such a lazy game design,” he exclaimed after finally taking the creature down, thanks to the help of an instructional video that showed how to escape the Big Pig’s attacks. “It’s not even really that difficult. They are just forcing bosses to do unfair things to make the game look longer. Lazy.”
Jarvis’ anger increased when he encountered the boss of Shadow of Yharnam. “Oh my god,” he cried. “It’s just three of the same guys! They couldn’t even be bothered to do three different types. Unbelievable.”
His roommate, Patricia Jarvis, 49, pointed out that each of the Three Shadows appeared to have different weapons and attack patterns, which prompted more rants from Jarvis. “It sucks. I don’t waste my time with this garbage, ”Jarvis said, before watching several more tutorial videos. Hours later, after being repeatedly burned, stabbed, and killed by snakes, Jarvis finally defeated the trio. “After all that hard work, there wasn’t even a cool death animation or anything. How difficult could that be ?!
Jarvis spent the rest of the weekend finishing Bloodborne after summoning other players into his game using the Bell Beckoning. “They don’t even have online matchmaking,” he told one player. “So, so lazy. And thank you for beating Vicar Amelia for me; I don’t have the right gun at the moment. “