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The best news from a blonde woman in the entertainment industry this week didn’t come from Taylor Swift; it was from Charlize Theron. Don’t forget that Swift released their ninth studio album – and second since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic– at midnight Eastern last night, this is all wonderful. But even Swift’s continued prolificacy couldn’t stop Charlize Theron from showing up at TL to say that she would be more than willing to make a perfect sounding movie that no one has even written, let alone taken to a studio for. get the green light.
It all started on Saturday when a Twitter user with the handle @f_osis posted a seemingly innocent tweet with a brilliant idea: “Lesbian Christmas romantic comedies are all good, but what I REALLY want is Die hard where Charlize Theron goes on a rampage to save his wife. What started out as a thinly veiled jab at The happiest season soon to snowball in a wing and prayer production pipeline. Why? Because two days later Theron retweeted the post and just added “Where do I sign?” [?]”
Say that Lesbians die hard is the best idea that anyone, let alone Queer Twitter, has heard in a long time is an understatement. With Theron at the helm, it’s essentially a hybrid sequel to the two Atomic blonde and The old guard and who doesn’t want sequels both of these films? Wynonna earp showrunner Emily Andras said she would be involved. Is Ava DuVernay available to direct? Maybe Patty Jenkins? The latter already said she wanted make a comedy with Theron, why not that? Come on, Hollywood, this fruit is so low that it’s practically already in your hands. Write the damn check.
Of course, this still raises a question: Holy shit, who is playing his wife? The folks in Theron’s mentions have gifted everyone from Cate Blanchett to Emily Blunt as potential mate material. New girl star hannah simone offered his services. The most compelling response, however, came from Aisha Tyler, who did not specifically volunteer for the role of wife, but said, “Where do I cosign?”[?]“So we’re going to say that means she would be ready to play Theron’s wife.