Friday, September 22, 2023

Stubbs the Zombie makes a triumphant return to Xbox this spring

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Stubbs here. That’s right baby. I’m back and better than ever.

Well, I’m actually exactly the same as I was in 2005. I was already pretty good, so there is that.

I am here today to introduce you to the ground floor of an exciting opportunity: Stubbs the zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse, an Xbox Classic, Coming Soon to Xbox Series X | S and Xbox One. Still not sold? Why not explain all the cool features of this game to you?

Same engine

Stubbs the zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse runs on an ultramodern game engine of tomorrow *: a really good engine of a super popular game that we don’t know if we can legally name it. This game launched on Xbox as well, and it was a real showpiece, if you understand my drift, boss. **

Stubbs the zombie

Sure, it could come straight from 2005, but I’m living proof (ish) that some things get better with age. Heck, I’m even going to add some modernized controls and some brand new achievements to sweeten the deal.

Same special abilities

You got guts, kid, I can tell. *** Have you ever thought about using them as a grenade? My dubiously patented Gut grenade is going to explode in popularity, notice my words!

Stubbs the zombie

Of course, there are other ways to scare people away. Some people say my approach stinks, but the ungodly gas knocks them out every time.

Since you’ve come this far, there’s something you need to know about zombies – we know how to get ahead. More precisely, a sputum head. Bowling is for jerks, but prying your head off and jerking? These are the good things.

So, Whaddaya Think?

I don’t know about you, but I feel pretty good about it all. Even Stubbs, new consoles. That sounds good. Now how would you feel if I told you that you can pre-order the digital version of Stubbs the zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse today on the Xbox Store?

Stubbs the zombie

Still have doubts? Take the time to think. I can wait… after all, I waited 15 years to come back. What is a few more months?

* Legal here. We would like to inform you that it was the game engine of tomorrow in 2005, but now it’s technically a game engine of yesterday.

** Legal again. Any similarities in the previous sentence with characters whether or not they belong to Xbox are entirely coincidental.

*** Legal, again. Stubbs the Zombie is not intended for children, children, or just anyone. It’s rude, immature, and “very bad taste” according to most.

Xbox live

Stubbs the zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse


$ 19.99

Be the zombie. Kick A ** and Take Brains. It’s 1959 and the town of Punchbowl, PA, is a beacon of progress and ideal living. Show the living that law and order are no match for a dead person on a mission. Your boyfriend’s back, Maggie and Punchbowl are going to be in trouble!


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